People Who Are Not Me.

I am not:

1. An Ivy league baseball player


2. An executive news director from Spokane


3. A character played by that guy from Punk'd


4. A major in some space army


5. Someone who takes pictures with fat chicks then tries to hide the evidence


6. The creator of a video blog about contemporary psychological overanalyzation and overmedication


7. A lawyer who wants the world to shut down on Sundays